Artists

I strongly believe for a fact that all art cures the artist, for whatever means of creating it expresses and can show literally how someone visually sees and feels. When i see a piece of art i  never judge it for how it looks for aesthetics, i look for the mood and senses it gives off. I feel for an atmosphere and try to see what the artist is trying to tell the viewer. People who have such narrow minded opinions of how the aesthetics are on the piece, how it doesn't mean anything at all. I would ask the question 'Was this piece of art made for your pleasing? Are you the desired person to view this? How dare you make an shallow assumption on a piece before you know what it stands for".


But that's just me, in February i went to Barcelona where i felt i had visually and mentally changed my thought process and remembered what i do care for. I've been to Barcelona before but wasn't in the right company to spend hours in the oh so many galleries, this round i did. I felt like i had an education on art, what i really needed and restoration in faith of the arts. I have found myself very lost with what i wanted, cared for or believed in. But that was just in the haze of depression which didn't help, but the main thing that got me through was drawing. 


This is when i realised that i wasn't cut out to make aesthetically pleasing work for clients and really deep down i am just an artists, who is trying to figure my way through life. And the best way of understanding this was through my sketchbooks. This is decided i should put my whole self into my work, quite late in deciding so but i feel i will develop more as an artist than i could ever as an illustrator. 


But anyway, i managed to go to 14 exhibitions at 8 galleries. I felt as i walked through the large gallery rooms adorned with art that i understood images and understood the concept better than ever before. 
For example Picasso where you see his earliest work in the 19th Centuary is very traditional painting, then  20th Century where he has hit his blue period you understand the painter emotionally as it was the spanish civil war, world wars current, and so on.


With Miró who has had many bouts of depression you can see how he work has developed, from intricate catalan painting to very surrealist and abstract triptychs. As i walked through each gallery space seeing how his work progress i could see how he as an artist, developed his process of thought. Using space as a medium and making it apparent. Like in  'Painting on White Background for the Cell of a Recluse' Using a simple line against so much negative space, it creates an atmosphere. Instead of drawings present it more points to what it is that is being shown and lets the viewer think about it. 

It completely does my head in when someone would walk up to a painting and just say, well what is it? Its just a squiggle on three massive canvas, but not think out of the drawing and see what it is intact like an installation. 

This being another triptych 'Blue' which is shown successfully well placed in a gallery enabling the viewer to sit in and take it all in. Let them think of what it means, what it could relate to them. This piece represents isolation and detachment, i personally think it works very well to that description. 

What is Depression?

This extract of text has been taken from Mental Health

What is depression?

Depression is different from feeling down or sad. Unhappiness is something which everyone feels at one time or another, usually due to a particular cause. A person suffering from depression will experience intense emotions of anxiety, hopelessness, negativity and helplessness, and the feelings stay with them instead of going away.

Depression can happen to anyone. Many successful and famous people who seem to have everything going for them battle with this problem. Depression also affects people of every age.

Half of the people who have depression will only experience it once but for the other half it will happen again. The length of time that it takes to recover ranges from around six months to a year or more.

Living with depression is difficult for those who suffer from it and for their family, friends, and colleagues. It can be difficult to know if you are depressed and what you can do about it.

From looking at this text i strongly believe depression is misunderstood as you can't physically see it, but people yet choose to ignore it or over look the tell tell signs of someone who is ill. Yet i believe also age is an issue, where adults would assume children are just fine, as after all they are kids right? Which is definitely wrong as it can affect anyone at any age. I believe this disease is overlooked too much and isn't taken seriously 

Signs and symptoms of depression

The following are the most common symptoms of depression. If you experience four or more of these symptoms for most of the day, every day for more than two weeks, you should seek help from your GP.

• Tiredness and loss of energy.
• Sadness that doesn’t go away. 
• Loss of self-confidence and self-esteem. 
• Difficulty concentrating. 
• Not being able to enjoy things that are usually pleasurable or interesting. 
• Feeling anxious all the time. 
• Avoiding other people, sometimes even your close friends. 
• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. 
• Sleeping problems - difficulties in getting off to sleep or waking up much earlier than usual.
• Very strong feelings of guilt or worthlessness. 
• Finding it hard to function at work/college/school. 
• Loss of appetite. 
• Loss of sex drive and/or sexual problems. 
• Physical aches and pains. 
• Thinking about suicide and death. 
• Self-harm. 

Suffering from either two or three of these symptoms can make your life complicated to lead, yet to imagine to have 16 of these. Where if you are falling back in one area of life, it is like a domino effect and with out help could lead to a terrible breakdown. 


What causes depression?

Depression can happen suddenly as a result of physical illness, experiences dating back to childhood, unemployment, bereavement, family problems or other life-changing events.

Examples of chronic illnesses linked to depression include heart disease, back pain and cancer. Pituitary damage, a treatable condition which frequently follows head injuries, may also lead to depression.

Sometimes, there may be no clear reason for your depression but, whatever the original cause, identifying what may affect how you feel and the things that are likely to trigger depression is an important first step.

I also believe that people feel like they must have an excuse or it's not deemed enough as a problem to be able to ask for help. Any scenario or situation can lead to anything and no one knows at all how a person feels deep down. There is a point of worry of being judged or treated differently, but i believe many people do suffer with out saying so.  

Types of depression

There are several types of depression, some of which are listed below.

Mild depression
Depression is described as mild when it has a limited negative effect on your daily life. For example, you may have difficulty concentrating at work or motivating yourself to do the things you normally enjoy.

Major depression
Major depression interferes with an individual’s daily life - with eating, sleeping and other everyday activities. Some people may experience only one episode but it is more common to experience several episodes in a lifetime. It can lead to hospital admission, if the person is so unwell they are at risk of harm to themselves.

Bi-polar disorder
The mood swings in bi-polar disorder can be extreme - from highs, where the individual feels extremely elated and indestructible, to lows, where they may experience complete despair, lethargy and suicidal feelings. Sometimes people have very severe symptoms where they cannot make sense of their world and do things that seem odd or illogical. 

Post-natal depression 
Many new mothers experience what are sometimes called 'baby blues' a few days after the birth. These feelings of anxiety and lack of confidence are very distressing but in most cases last only a couple of weeks. Post-natal depression is more intense and lasts longer. It can leave new mothers feeling completely overwhelmed, inadequate and unable to cope. They may have problems sleeping, panic attacks or an intense fear of dying.

They may also experience negative feelings towards their child. It affects one in ten mothers and usually begins two to three weeks after the birth.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
SAD is associated with the start of winter and can last until spring when longer days bring more daylight. When it is mild, it is sometimes called ‘winter blues’. SAD can make the sufferer feel anxious, stressed and depressed. It may interfere with their moods and with their sleeping and eating patterns.

I have been diagnosed with Depression and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) which i have explained below. Which i have collected the information from NHS.

Someone with PTSD will often relive the traumatic event through nightmares and flashbacks, and they may experience feelings of isolation, irritability and guilt. They may also have problems sleeping, such as insomnia, and find concentrating difficult.

A person with PTSD will often relive the traumatic event through nightmares and flashbacks, and have feelings of isolation, irritability and guilt.

I aim to record my dreams that i have been having which tend to be reoccuring and very visual for research and ideas for my final outcome. 

The symptoms of PTSD usually develop during the first month after a person witnesses a traumatic event. However, in a minority of cases (less than 15%), there may be a delay of months or even years before symptoms start to appear.

Some people with PTSD experience long periods when their symptoms are less noticeable. This is known as symptom remission. These periods are often followed by an increase in symptoms. Other people with PTSD have severe symptoms that are constant.

You can call these 'bouts' where its unpredictable when they are coming or going.

Re-experiencing

Re-experiencing is the most typical symptom of PTSD.

A person will involuntarily and vividly relive the traumatic event in the form of flashbacks, nightmares or repetitive and distressing images or sensations. Being reminded of the traumatic event can evoke distressing memories and cause considerable anguish.

As i stated before about keeping a dream journal.

Avoidance

Trying to avoid being reminded of the traumatic event is another key symptom of PTSD.

Reminders can take the form of people, situations or circumstances that resemble or are associated with the event.

Many people with PTSD will try to push memories of the event out of their mind. They do not like thinking or talking about the event in detail.

These can come back with flashbacks as you get older and remember the memories which you automatically blocked. 

Some people repeatedly ask themselves questions that prevent them from coming to terms with the event. For example, they may wonder why the event happened to them and whether it could have been prevented.

Hyperarousal (feeling 'on edge')

Someone with PTSD may be very anxious and find it difficult to relax. They may be constantly aware of threats and easily startled. This state of mind is known as hyperarousal.

Irritability, angry outbursts, sleeping problems and difficulty concentrating are also common.

Emotional numbing

Some people with PTSD deal with their feelings by trying not to feel anything at all. This is known as emotional numbing. They may feel detached or isolated from others and have feelings of guilt.

This is a big point i want to look at in my film, the idea of being numb, isolated and completely detached. 

Someone with PTSD can often seem deep in thought and withdrawn. They may also give up activities that they used to enjoy.

Other symptoms

Other possible symptoms of PTSD include:

• depression, anxiety and phobias
• drug misuse or alcohol misuse
• sweating, shaking, headaches, dizziness, chest pains and stomach upsets

As with may other mental health conditions, PTSD sometimes leads to the breakdown of relationships and causes work-related problems.

Charities

I thought it would be a good research to look into Charities which help people with depression and see how they approach these subjects. I looked into the organisations such as Mind, Depression Alliance Uk and Young Minds.

I have sent them an email regarding what my aims are for this project and few questions on how i could improve my work with ideas they think which would be useful- This is the email i have sent.

Hello, 
My name is Florence Sweeney and I'm currently a second year student studying Illustration at the Arts University College at Bournemouth. I've got a current project going
which will be a film/art installation about Depression and how people don't pick up on it, and how it is a issue. For example, if you have seen Tracey Emin's "My Bed" which caused 
controversy as it wasn't 'art' yet people perfectly ignored the point of it showing a mental break down, just seeing the outside of things. 

I wanted to ask a few questions on what you would think of making a successful impact short film. 

What would be key points to bring out in the informative side?

Is there any ideas or suggestions that could be useful?

What makes you think of depersonalisation, bouts of depression, personal struggles e.g. out of body feeling, tunnel vision, fuzzy head feeling

Is there anything visual come to mind on topic to this?

This is still in the early stages as i haven't yet planned it out as I'm still researching. This will be great help for me, and I appreciate the response very much if you do manage to get the time.
Look forward to hearing back!
Thanks

'Messin' with our heads' was made by YoungMinds's Very Important Kids (VIK) group.
VIK campaign regionally and feed into national policy-making as well as talking to the media directly about their experiences. Messin' with our heads brings alive the manifesto points.

Although this isn't to my style or taste at all, this video does give good information to the viewer and appeals to a certain age group. I haven't emailed this charity as it is more targeted at children, but it has very valid points to it. 

Research

I aim to research into artists, charities, films, text and people that are relevant to this topic. Look into how artists have portrayed their work through mental illness and their experiences, how people perceive the world to be when depressed. Films that represent these issues and text related quotes, i want to get a very large scope on what i am researching into so i can achieve a successful film. I will have sound recordings of conversations with people who relate to this, and i will record myself at counseling talking about these issues so i can capture thoughts i wasn't aware of.

Looking into how other people cope and deal with the illness it will broaden my ideas to be able to relate my work to how others feel. As i will use myself as primary research, with the work i already create it is like therapy as i get feelings that are hard to express out properly. I will look into charities and ask questions in what i could involve key points in my film and research into art therapies too.

Convergence / Divergence 'Moving Image'

Synopsis Of Study

‘Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

Sigmund Freud

      One of the dynamic ways of communicating to an audience is visually, especially on a topic that is difficult to explain. Depression isn’t understood by a majority or even considered as a disease, it is quite a disclosed subject. Art as a form is the best medium to express how a being feels with out words.

      For my Convergence/Divergence unit I propose to embark my research into Depersonalization and Isolation that can be effected by Depression. I wish to create a moving image sequence that replicates the mood and atmosphere to inform an audience who are unaware of the agitation it inflicts on people. Within my film I will deliver a sense of how art installations can create sets of mood, visually describing the feelings that are unexplainable but contribute an illustrative form within it.

      I aim to explore the trials and tribulations that have/haven’t undergone through the disease bringing awareness to the matter. By creating a piece that gives insight to the trauma and visually portraying what words can not, the aspiration is to reconnect with the disconnected. Looking into various artists who have created pieces from suffering I will be able get a bold insight for development. By also questioning people whom have/are going through this state to cover all areas to produce a successful film. From past projects I have discovered my assets, these are that I am able to connect deeply into the work that is personal to myself. This project will be based on the experiences that I have been through and produce the honest representation, which I want to construct a bond with the on viewer. Giving the chance to unearth the truth and share to all, I have taken into consideration on how I may approach this. 

      Audio is a factor, which will be very important to emphasize the installation for the moving image, for examples what I think of vividly is drones and distorted sounds. The Film ‘Koyannisqattsi’ directed by Godfrey Reggio 1982 which has no conventional plot but means ‘life out of balance’, this is what I perceived to be depersonalized and showed isolation in set mood of atmosphere with imagery and sound.

Installations like Tracey Emin’s ‘My Bed’ 1998 hugely influences me as it shows her aftermath of a nervous breakdown, yet this caused controversy as debated not to be art. This demonstrates clearly what depression can lead to in an audacious way and yet still onlookers did not fully understand it.

     With in my work the personal drawings I have create, yet haven’t dared to show are my strongest and learning from previous units this is what I need to encourage and develop. I aim to unearth the real side of myself with the experienced from my life to create an honest and real film that can connect to the viewer with these issues. I plan to visit various current exhibitions, take recordings of people talking about the matter and I can achieve my brief by researching into artists, other people and myself who have undergone the same situations. Looking into various ways of filming and creating an installation I feel confident I will be able to accomplish my aims of the brief.

 

Rethink

I've had to think about my project properly and think realistically about how i am going to use my time effiencently. Ideally i was planning to create my animation by drawing and scanning up, but learning from creating my title this takes a lot of time. Also i don't think i have got the nack of it properly yet to create something that will work right in timing and look very good at the end result.

I've come back to a reoccuring thought of making my animation be as strong as how i picture it to be. What i'm going to do now is to cut out the characters out of paper and do stop motion, i think this will be easier to make scenes and see the project in a better perspective. I have left this quite late to change my idea but i think i will be able to make a much more successful animation by changing it to this.

I was also thinking about how i would do the phenomes and speech to work effectively with timing, i will be able to achieve this better buy looking at cut outs in paper than drawing. I've been thinking about animations like South Park where its made from paper and how effective it is as a whole outcome.




There is another animated video in this style that literally blew my mind. Fleet Foxes "The Shrine/ An Arguement" this was made from a combination of few artists. Illustrator Stacy Rozich has created these very mystical characters out of paper and made this fantastic story. 





I think i will be able to turn around my project and pull off a better outcome than drawing it in many frames on tracing paper. 

Tester Animations

These are a few tester animations i have created based on my character designs, they are only a few seconds long but it was just to get the feel of what i will be doing.



This is the old man just having a little yawn. I found this quite easy and think the timing is about right where it doesn't look odd.



This is a little animation i've done just of myself, it's a bit jolty when it finishes, i probably should of had more of the patience to finish it.



This is the title for my animation, only i think it is too fast and messy. I spent a long while on it but it doesn't seem like much effort has gone into this.